Thursday, March 10, 2011

Looking Back..

In the past year my body has done some amazing things. Namely carrying a life, birthing that sweet baby girl, and then recovering from gaining 50 pounds (yes, I said 5-0!) and getting healthy after toxemia (pregnancy induced high blood pressure...not fun).
I've also supported a life by producing milk (crazy that is what those things are for!)And yes, I am still breastfeeding. Sometimes I love it, other times I want to have a break. I am beginning the weaning process, but its a little work. Especially with this girl...chichi mama is her nickname.

I think the hardest thing about motherhood is that it is so completely non-self centered. You literally could and in some ways have to lose yourself. I am not talking about using your baby as an excuse to let go. Sadly I think that happens a lot, and who could blame someone. Motherhood is EXHAUSTING (she says after night 2 of sleep training with a toddler who wakes up every 2 hours at least...). But if you lose yourself in the midst of that, I feel like you could start to resent your position and your children.

So I decided to post something. Its hard for me to post this because its pretty vulnerable. Especially for me: with all of the weight issues I have had in my past (another post, another day). I never want to like myself for my body, but I also don't want to let myself go for the sake of not finding my identity in my shape. But, my body has been to the brink and thankfully, with a lot of work and a lot of encouragement, back to where I feel like I am taking good care of myself.

So here is a progression of the last year....

1 week after ashby born.
2 months after...starting to exercise again..
5.5 month Ashby walking at Cannon Beach with my mom (isn't she cute from behind!)
October..walking the dog on a more regular basis (wearing a 19 pound baby on a regular basis is helpful too)
new years, after a really well-rounded 1800 calories a day cleanse (no starvation for a nursing mommy)
Hawaii, just about 1 year after she was born.

total weight lost: 70 pounds.
Tricks: none.
1. Hardwork and getting outside at least 4 days a week
2. Cutting out sugar and processed foods (with a few exceptions)
3. not giving up and learning when I use food for comfort not for fuel.

So here I am. What a difference a year makes.

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