Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Salt and Pepper

Lately life has been feeling very black and white

1 minute things feel incredible
The next minute I am spiraling into a pit
Then I recognize that is happening, start circular breathing (thanks yoga) and then I'm back on the way up or out or calm or something.

Its very exhausting.

Case in point:
Awesome weekend in San Diego for 4 days with Dave during spring break. Sleeping on the beach and hanging out.
Driving home mad at Dave because he is dumb sometimes...
Relaxing week off from cheer and meetings with my new captains.
67 people showing up for the cheer meeting.
One of the girls that didn't make captain completely ignoring me.
No money. I mean literally none.
Hanging out at the track meet and judging pole vault.
Going to sleep alone....
Watching my husband coach on Saturday and seeing his face on the local news that night
Eating dinner alone...
Sleeping in on Sunday.
Venice beach and the drum circle.
Still getting ignored by cheerleaders and letting my opinion be fully known.
5 guys to basket toss and 4 toss to hands extension partner stunts the first day of tryouts. (You have no idea how great that one was...you tube that stunt and you will see why!)

I have been waking up at 2 am almost every night. Despite the fact that I have completely cut out caffeine. Another frustration. Another long night and tired day.

Don't get me wrong. I am completely satisfied with most of my life...
This pace and these extremes are very draining.
That's all.

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